Children of the Seireitei
by Straight-Outta-Hobbiton
Summary: Stories of the children of our favorite characters, and their reasons for hiding in the human realm.
1. Minoru

**Title: Children of the Seireitei**

Summary: come 'round, children, and hear the stories of the children of some of our favorite characters...

Disclaimer: bleach belongs to kubo.

A/N: i have a weird obsession with giving ichigo shinigami friends that live in the human world for some reason or another. That seems to be the case, a lot of the time. I mean, urahara? The Visored? Isshin? Why does Karakura seem to get all these people? Well, anyway, any and all of these characters will be used in some fic somehow sometime soon. Depending on how much they're liked, anyway.

Chapter 1: Minoru Aizen

Minoru was six years old when he found out his daddy was a Bad Man. It was by accident, really. He'd just happened to overhear Gin-san talking with his daddy about people daddy didn't like. People that Minoru knew, like shinji-taicho and kisuke-san, and played with whenever his daddy brought him to visit. He couldn't really understand, but he knew what things like 'experiments' and 'framing' someone meant. He was a very clever six year old, after all. Just like his daddy.

A week after he'd listened in, teddy bear clutched in his hand, shinji-taicho, kisuke-san, and several other captains and lieutenants had been labeled 'exiles', a word Minoru didn't understand.

So he asked his dad.

Sousuke was very good with his son, but he never really noticed exactly how clever the boy was.

"where did you hear the word?" he asked, and minoru answered truthfully.

"at your captaincy ceremony. Shunsui-jii and jyuu-jii were talking."

"ah." sousuke leaned back in his chair and eyed his son with interest.

"to be an 'exile' means you aren't allowed to return to your... Home, i suppose would be a good word for it. They were talking about urahara-taicho and his friends."

"why- why is kisuke-san exiled?" minoru asked, horrified. "will they ever let him come back home?"

"i don't think so, minoru," sousuke told him gently. "he did some really horrible experiments on hirako-taicho and his friends."

And understanding, thick and agonizing, flowed through his brain, making his eyes go wet with misery and betrayal.

He looked down at his teddy.

"oh," the little boy said quietly, squeezing his bear tightly. "i understand."

"i'm sorry, minoru," sousuke told him gently, but the same way minoru had always known that his father lied about father christmas, he knew his daddy didn't mean it. "i know you'll miss them."

Minoru swallowed hard and nodded, getting up.

"i'm going to go play outside," he said, voice dull.

Sousuke nodded understandingly. "don't go too far from the house," he warned.

"i'll call you in for dinner, alright?"

The boy nodded, head hanging in a child's mockery of disappointment. "bye... Daddy." and with that he stepped out into the sun, into the trees of the small woodland that made up the Aizen Estate.

Sousuke was none the wiser.

Minoru stared into the water at his own reflection, hating everything about it.

Ever since he was born, people had always remarked on how like his father he looked, how sweet, how kind. He'd been proud of that fact, but now...

He didn't quite understand what his father had done, but he knew he had a hand in having kisuke-san es- esc- exiled. He couldn't imagine how shinji-taicho and everyone else was feeling (he knew kisuke-san would never abandon his friends)- how could anyone ever live with not being allowed to come home, after all?

Tears streaming freely down his cheeks, the little boy took a sharp stone- a piece of quartz, to be exact- and pressed it hard into his cheek, drawing blood as he ran it diagonally across one cheek, and then the other.

Don't look like daddy anymore.

You can't look like daddy.

You can't.

Shunsui was taking a leisurely walk by the river when he spied a small lump curled up on the banks, brown head buried in its arms.

Curious, the captain approached the lump, almost certain as to who it was.

"what an oddly shaped rock," he mused out loud, taking a seat beside the little boy. "it might do for my collection."

The child giggled and looked up, revealing a bloody face.

"what- mino-kun?"

"shunsui-jii, look!" minoru smiled widely up at the man, wincing slightly as his wounds pulled. "i don't look like my daddy anymore."

"what- you did this to yourself?" shunsui reached up to brush a finger across one of the three scratches on minoru's cheeks- two on the left, one on the right. "why?"

Suddenly the boy darkened.

"daddy's a Bad Man," minoru mumbled, looking down at the teddy in his arms. "i don't want to look like a Bad Man."

Shunsui's brow furrowed in confusion.

"what do you mean, mino-kun?" he asked, settling down more comfortably beside the boy.

"i-" minoru looked away. "i heard daddy talking a while ago... About things like 'experiments' and 'framing', and something about kisuke-san, but i didn't understand... And now shinji-taicho and kisuke-san and all their friends aren't allowed back in the seireitei, and i think it's all daddy's fault."

Oh. Oh, dear.

"mino-kun," shunsui started gently, reaching out wrap a thin arm around the boy. "what you just said- not that i don't trust your word- but no one will take anything you've just said seriously. It sounds like scraps, something that could be just a part of your imagination." he leaned forward, touching his forehead against the boy's. "but if you ever hear anything that you think might work to prove he's a Bad Man, you come and tell me, alright? And i'll make sure we stop him."

The brunette nodded and hid his face in shunsui's side. "okay."

"good. Now, come. We'll go and see if retsu-san will fix up your cuts."

"!" minoru looked up, alarmed. "no! I made them all by myself, and i want to keep them! I don't want to look like daddy!"

shunsui sighed. "what will you tell him, then?"

"that i don't want to look like a Bad Man."

The captain winced. "... But if you tell him you know that he's bad, he'll try extra hard to keep it hidden from you."

Minoru's face screwed up in confusion. "i don't understand."

"i..." shunsui paused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"pretend you're in the stealth force- your father's told you about them, right?" at minoru's nod, he continued.

"well, sometimes, for missions, they have to go undercover and pretend they're someone else in order to collect information about the enemy. Pretend you're one them, and you have to act like every other little boy you know- silly, happy, not quite as smart as you- you get the idea?"

"so... I have to pretend to be someone else?" minoru looked uncertain.

"no, you can still be mino-kun," shunsui told him quickly. "just... Don't let anyone else ever see who you really are. Never let them know you're watching your daddy, or that you're as smart as you are. If you do, the bad guys will win."

A look of determination bloomed in the little boy's face, and he nods, chin pushed forward almost mulishly.

"okay, shunsui-jii," he said with a sharp nod. "stupid and silly, just the way you pretend."

Damn, that stung, but regardless, shunsui smiled at the boy's summary.

"good. So what are you going to tell your daddy about your scratches, since i'm not allowed to take you to retsu-san?"

"they're battle wounds!" minoru declared, jumping to his feet. "i fought two bigger boys with sticks and i won!"

"... And i happened to come in just in time to break up the fight," shunsui added with a chuckle. "Okay, then. Let's head back. I'm certain dinner's almost ready."

"okay!"

And as they headed back towards minoru's home, shunsui didn't notice the shadow lurking in the treeline, or the way it shunpoed after them, heading towards home as well.

And he never would.

When minoru was ten, he realized what his zanpakuto was for, and he hated it.

In fact, he hated it so much he told no one of its abilities, locking the knowledge as deeply within himself as he could. It went in a box labeled 'Minoru's: Do Not Touch', along with every other dark secret he found himself keeping over the last four years.

Being a genius fucking sucked, even if no one else knew about it.

The most painful part of minoru's whole... Game, was the fact that sousuke still seemed to be proud of him, still seemed supportive of him, even though he was in the bottom half of his class and lost nearly every public spar.

It made him ache inside, because he knew it was genuine, and he felt like a complete prick.

So he ran, leaving only a clever illusion in his wake.

He hoped no one would mourn him too much.


	2. Hisoka

Title: Hisoka

A new child of the Seiretei! Enjoy.

Hisoka was a bastard child, born from one of the many women his father had bedded. His mother, dead in childbirth, had him taken to his father, and he lived their ever since.

He'd been told he was just like his father, from looks to mannerisms to habits to intelligence. He didn't quite see it, with his green hair and pale skin, but he never argued, too strung out at any given moment to really register the fact that his eyes were his father's, his stances identical and his speech a perfect imitation and pitch.

Hisoka was a man of indulgences.

Actually, it was partially due to his zanpakuto's abilities. A complete control over poisons is not something you want to a man with an addictive personality and a penchant for 'mood enhancers'.

It was safe to say that if you wanted anything to alter your state of mind, for a small fee, you could get it from Hisoka.

Nobody ever really cared- a simple antidote would sober any users and they didn't cause harm, unless he wanted them to. And boy, were there many people he wanted dead.

Nori morinaga, died of blood loss from a papercut.

Bunjo shodomare, died of rapid muscle deterioration.

Nana musimoto, died of rapid hair ingrowth.

No one ever traced it back to him, of course, but his father was not a stupid man, and neither was jyuushiro.

They never did anything, though. They never had a chance to, because Yamamoto figured it out, and acted accordingly.

The last noise Hisoka ever made was a scream before a thin stream of fire made its way down his throat, scorching his vocal chords and toasting his entire voice box. It probably would have killed him, if it hadn't been for his testing a fire resistance mixture not a week earlier, and was still partially present in his stomach acids.

Yamamoto had left him to be cleaned up by some unfortunate subordinate, but by the time they appeared, he was gone.

As a man of indulgence, the first thing Hisoka did was open a brothel.

It was small, with only twelve or so girls, but it was very popular. As an add-on, he also sold his potions to the local apothecary- simple things, like aphrodisiacs, a few medicines, the occasional sleepy potion. He easily became the richest man in Karakura, hounded by every single, desperate woman in the village.

It took three years for his father to find him.

The brothel was empty that day, the girls given the day off to shop and relax, and Hisoka was alone, quietly mixing his potions. The woman down the street had just given birth to triplets, and he imagined a bit of painkiller wouldn't go amiss.

"Still playing with potions, I see."

Hisoka turned to see a familiar pair of brown eyes gazing at him curiously from the shadows.

He nods and turns back to his brews, stirring something here and adding something there.

"You'll never be able to return to the Seireitei," shunsui says gently, and hisoka nods. He knew that.

There's silence, a heavy one, and slowly, hisoka turns back to his father.

"Yama-jii is restricting my visits to the world of the living," shunsui says quietly. "Jyuu's too. We probably won't be able to visit for a long time."

Hisoka bites his lip, head tilting to one side. He wishes, for the first time in two and a half years he wishes he could speak, if only to say he's sorry.

Shunsui seems to understand anyway, though.

The father gives his son a long look, before sighing heavily and pulling him into a hug.

"Baka," he whispers.

Hisoka nods into the pink shoulder. Yeah. He is.


	3. Tsumi and Ryuu

Tsumi and Ryuu

A/N: Merry Christmas to all! For my gift, I give you a few more chapters of Children!

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters that actually show up in Bleach. Everybody else, though, is mine.

Tsumi, to put it nicely, was batshit insane.

She was an old soul (literally), having been a few years older than her precious Yama-chan, and counted herself among one of the lucky few that didn't have to age after death. Four millennia came and went, and she still looked exactly seven and a half, with her golden curls and wide blue eyes.

That was good. After all, people look at you funny if you play with dolls and look as rickety as Yama-chan.

Technically, she had her husband's name, Kuchiki, though she never used it. She preferred Ukitake, her maiden name, as it sounded, well, 'stronger'.

"'Kuchiki' sounds like a a pair of maracas," she'd say when people asked. "I hate maracas."

Tsumi was a scientist, a mad one at that, caring for no one but her Ryuu and her precious Jyuu-chan, her three times great grandson. In her free time, she made robots, indiscernible from the basic porcelain doll that one would get from a rickety old aunt or a distant relative who didn't quite know what to give a child. She used them as an army, intimidating and tearing apart enemy soldiers. She was a proud member of fifth division, and one of the greatest strategists Soul Society had ever seen. She was viciously loyal, efficient, (mostly) obedient... The perfect soldier.

Her real problem was that she loved her job too much.

Normally that wasn't an issue. The soldier got a few weeks off work, maybe a few therapy sessions, and they were good as new.

Tsumi wasn't a normal case.

She was a soldier, yes, and a scientist, but she had hobbies, too. She was a collector. Of eyes.

Yeah, you see how that got uncomfortable after a while.

Now, generally she was ignored. Her hobby was morbid, yes, but didn't harm the Gotei, so they let it be.

Then came a thousand years of peace.

She itched, her dollies' eyes having rotted away after the first five hundred years despite her brews against aging, and hollow eyes were never so pretty as Quincy, or even Shinigami...

And that thought was the reason she planned the things she did.

At the time, the captain of the fifth division was Shihoin Inomaru, head of the Shihoin House. It was fifth that ran the prisons of Soul Society, and, as third seat of said division, Tsumi had access to the prisoners.

One hundred and twenty-three corpses were found within three days, all missing eyes. But her dollies were pretty again, and that was all that mattered.

It was thanks to Ryuu that she wasn't thrown into prison herself, bribing any and all Central 46 members to lighten the sentence to exile.

She appreciated it, and expected nothing less from her husband.

"You'll be the death of me, Tsumi," he told her the evening before her exile went into effect. "I could have gotten anyone in the world, and I chose the psychotic one."

He said this often, of course, but never so miserably, and something about that stung.

She said nothing of it, sliding away from him on the couch and standing.

"I think I'll go to bed," she told him, her usual cheer and mocking gone with his statement. "I have a big day tomorrow."

The next morning, she slipped away before dawn to wait on her own at the Seinkamon, dressed in her prettiest kimono and carrying Elizabeth, her first doll and a gift from her- from Ryuu.

There was no crowd to watch her go, no one but Yama-chan and Jyuu-chan, who was nearly too young to understand.

"Baa-chan, you comin' back soon?" He asked, breaking Tsumi's heart a little more.

"Of course, Jyuu-chan," she lied softly, cupping his face with a hand. "Now, be good to Yama-jii, and don't let Shunsui push you around, alright?"

The chubby, black-haired baby nodded, tucking a thumb in his mouth, and she sighs, straightening.

"Perhaps we'll see each other again, Yama-chan," she told the aging man with false cheer.

He sighed. "Good bye, Ukitake-sama. I wish you well."

She nodded and turned, taking a deep breath.

"Leaving without me, are you? Typical."

A hand found hers and she looked up into melancholy black eyes.

Hand shaking, she reached up to brush a lock of red hair back into its place, separate from the black half of his head.

Ryuu caught her wrist.

"You should expect nothing less," he told her matter-of-factly. "You deserve nothing less."

Tsumi gazed at him for a long moment, then smiled softly.

"Thank you."

Ryuu snorted and let go of her wrist, offering instead an arm.

"Shall we?"

Tsumi looped her arm in his.

"Lead the way, dana."

They stepped into the Seinkaimon together.


	4. Usagi

Usagi

The blonde has problems. Major ones.

Hirako Usagi was born in the back of an abandoned warehouse to a crackwhore, who left him to be found a day and a half later by a police officer. He was put into a boys' home, and was reared by a horrible woman by the name of Miyagi Kyoko, who favored punishment above all else.

He was beaten everyday he can remember, burned with cigarettes, thrashed with belts, slapped, cut, punched, kicked... He can't remember a life without pain before his tenth year. He remembers long days in darkness, fear, hatred, filth... It's all a part of him, just like every scar that litters his pale skin, a history of his life.

He'd been locked out again when Minoru found him. He'd been shivering in the snow that covered the small back garden of the home, curled up to protect his broken ribs, like a dog. That day, it had been for his ugliness- his purple eyes, his wide, lipless mouth, his sharp, shark-like teeth... They'd cut off his hair again, and though he hadn't protested, he'd gotten a sharp kick to his chest when he'd knelt and bowed before the wretched woman he'd been forced to call 'Mother'.

Minoru, at the time, looked about twenty, with a muscly build and tattooed arms. His scarred cheeks were a comfort- Usagi didn't realize at the time that there could be kind people with pretty faces- and his chocolate brown eyes were sharp with fury.

"Who did this to you?" He'd asked, his deep voice measured and even despite his angry eyes.

"Mother." Usagi sat up slowly. "Thank ya for taking the hurt away. Ya should leave afore she wakes up, or she'll hurt us all."

"You've not taken revenge? With so many living in this place?"

"She's stronger."

"She is not!" Minoru was sharp, but he didn't frighten Usagi, who was used to much, much worse. "You'd be able to kill her, all on your own, if you wanted to. You have that sort of power."

Usagi blinked. "Kill...? Like she killed Yosuke?" Yosuke had been his best friend, a big brother of sorts.

They'd buried him in the back garden.

Minoru's fists clenched, turning white, and his jaw tightened.

"Yes."

"But she's got the Ladies," Usagi pointed out childishly. "If I kill her, they'll tell." The Ladies were just as powerful as Mother, and, in some ways, crueler.

Minoru's smile was razor sharp. "Then I suppose I'll have to kill them, too. But you'll have to watch, so you can do it too, someday."

"Kill..." Usagi looked up into his savior' face, and he found himself nodding.

Usagi can't remember how they got into the building, with it's barred windows and security system, but he does remember the screams of evil women being ripped limb from limb by Minoru, and he remembers blood on a butcher knife and shrieks as tongues were cut out, hands cut off.

He does, however, remember his first kill.

Minoru had been the one to find Mother first, and had waited for Usagi to make his way up to her room. The boys- Usagi's fellow inmates, had watched with hollow eyes as he'd walked through the corridors, covered in blood and still clutching his bloody knife, to Minoru, who'd tied her down to one of the iron chairs she'd kept for the older, stronger boys.

He'd dropped the knife when he saw her, her beautiful, curly blonde hair just a few shades darker than his own still in its stylish knot from the day and her dress a beautiful shade of powder blue.

She had screamed delightfully when he tore her jaw off with his long, spindly fingers, and had howled when he tore out her intestines.

Minoru had seemed quite proud of him, stroking down the long scar Usagi had running down his face from a spelling mistake he'd made when he was seven.

"You'll do just fine, if you stay with me," he said. "Would you like to?"

Usagi looked back at the boys who'd watched him rip Mother to pieces, met their hollow, sightless stares, and turned back to Minoru.

"Please."

"I knew your father, you know," Minoru told him as he brushed through newly grown-out golden hair- Hisoka's poultices worked wonders. "He was a captain of the fifth division of the Gotei 13. My father was his lieutenant."

"What happened ta 'im?"

"My father betrayed yours," the brunette says sadly. "He turned him into a monster, and so a man by the name of Urahara Kisuke- the man my father framed- spirited them away to the World of the Living, where he no doubt met your mother."

"My Ma was a hooker," Usagi tells him. "That's wha' they said."

Minoru sighs. "That makes me feel a bit better, actually. If Shinji-san doesn't know about your being alive, I might be able to forgive him for leaving you in that wretched place."

"... He's a nice person?"

"Yes. Or he was. I haven't see him in over a century." There's a pause. "You look an awful lot like him, you know. You have the same hair. And face."

"So... He's ugly?"

"I don't think so. He's pretty popular with women, after all."

"Oh." Usagi runs his hands through his long, golden locks. "Minoru-san?"

"Yes?"

"I wanna do that again. Kill."

Minoru chuckles. "Than I'll train you, and set you up as a hitman. You may as well get paid for it."

And for the first time in his young life, Usagi smiles.


	5. Tadao and Katsu

Tadao and Katsu

Unohana Tadao has always been the unassuming sort. He's old- far older than most people would guess. He has correspondence saved from Alexander the Great, jewels given to him by Vladimir Tepes. He was at Queen Elizabeth the first's coronation, and Napolean Bonaparte's, too. He's had lunch with Hitler, tea with Churchill, and read bedtime stories to JFK. He's slept with Marilyn Monroe, Clara Bow, Audrey Hepburn, and Helen of Troy.

His mother said he had quite the knack for meeting important people. She does like to joke.

Everything about him physically is average, though pleasant. His black hair is short, save for two braid on either side of his head that are beaded with silver and blue. His mouth is wide and full, meant for smiling, and his pale, sightless eyes are frighteningly dead, so he hides them behind thick black goggles that are almost more frightening than what he's trying to hide.

He is omniscient. Not that he brags about it or anything, but he is. The people he considers friends are aware, but they are few and far between. He likes it that way.

Unlike most of his friends, he has no tragic story. He left the Seireitei because he was bored.

"Mother," he said one day over tea. "I want to travel. I want to meet new people."

"As long as you promise to come and visit me, I don't mind," Retsu replied in her usual, soft way. "Do you promise?"

"Of course I do, Mother."

And that was that.

Tadao was visiting for the first time in nearly three hundred years when he met Shiba Katsu. Katsu had been eight, at the time, and three minutes younger than his brother Kaien.

He'd barreled into Tadao while running from Kukaku, who'd found him stealing cookies from her special stash.

Tadao had been instantly taken, and had saved the boy from his irate older sister with a patented Unohana smile and a promise to have him back by dinner.

"Who're you, anyway?" Katsu had asked when Kukaku had left them, cowed by the somehow terrifying aura of the healer's son.

Tadao tilted his head- it made it easier to talk to people if they thought you were looking at them- and smiled down at the boy who still clung to the edge of his navy blue trench coat (an English fashion that Tadao decided was perfect for concealing weapons).

"Unohana Tadao, at your service," he told him. "And I assume you have another name besides 'Little Shit'?"

"Katsu. Shiba Katsu." Purple eyes searched the older man's pale face intently. "Thanks for helping me, Unohana-san."

Tadao chuckled. "Unohana-san is my mother. Call me Tadao. Everyone does."

"... Okay?"

"Would you like some lunch? I'm going to be taking it with the eleventh."

Katsu's eyes widened with excitement. "Really? Are you part of the eleventh?"

"Of course not- I'm just a traveller. But I do have quite a few friends in the eleventh."

"Wow."

"So? Are you up for lunch?"

"Yes please, Tadao-san!"

Dinner with the eleventh was always a rowdy affair, and Tadao's presence didn't help. At all.

Within twenty minutes, Tadao was on the training grounds, having left Katsu in the capable hands of the surprisingly mellow eleventh division lieutenant.

Katsu watched, mouth open, as Tadao ducked and bobbed and weaved through the attacks of soldier after soldier, never drawing a weapon or throwing a punch.

"Why doesn't he draw his zanpakuto?" Katsu asked the lieuteneant- he couldn't remember his name.

"He hasn't used his zanpakuto in centuries," the lieutenant replied. "He doesn't need to, he's so powerful. I think he's only ever drawn weapons against the captain, and those were a set of axes, not his zanpakuto." He sighed wistfully. "We'd love him in the division, but he values his freedom far too much to join a division."

"Ready for another round, captain?" Tadao called cheerily from the grounds as another soldier collapsed from exhaustion.

The captain grinned ferally. "Always."

The battle was bloody, and long, and merciless. Tadao fought with his axes, and managed to sever off the captain's last three fingers.

He won, of course, and as he leisurely strolled back to Katsu, blood-spattered and smiling, the little boy made a decision.

"I want you to train me, Tadao-san."

The male Unohana paused, tipping his head to one side.

"If you can get permission from your sister, I don't see why not. I leave tomorrow."

Katsu never really did get permission. He did leave a note though, and that had to count for something.

Tadao, of course, knew, and as punishment, made sure Kukaku caught them leaving.

Katsu still has scars.


	6. Ayame

Ayame

Ayame knew her father, and that's what hurts the most.

Urahara Kisuke had been living in the World of the Living thirty years when he met Ayame's mother Hoshi. She'd been on of his few regulars, a pretty young woman with long brown hair and bright green eyes. He'd fallen in love with her almost immediately, enamored by her love of learning and her sharp tongue.

"What's a pretty girl like you need help with today?" He's asked her the first time she'd stepped into his shop.

She cocked an eyebrow, completely unimpressed.

"The only girl I see here is you, master shopkeeper," she said bluntly. "Cut your hair."

Yoruichi had teased him for days afterwards, but it was already too late.

He was completely smitten.

It had taken two years of begging to get Hoshi to even consider a date with him, and another three to get her to marry him.

Ayame was born in the spring after their wedding, a beautiful little girl with bright green eyes and thick, ash blonde hair.

He'd left when she was seven, at Yoruichi's command.

"They're going to notice you're not aging eventually," she'd told him when he'd refused. "And then what? You're going to explain everything?"

Kisuke had kept quiet. He didn't have the courage, he knew, to tell Hoshi of his past, and he couldn't just stay without any explanation.

It wasn't until years later that he realized that maybe, just maybe, Yoruichi had asked him to leave for more... Selfish, reasons.

He longed to go back, but the damage had already been done.

Ayame hated him.

She hated him for the fact that he left her to deal with her abilities on her own. He'd left her to explain to her mother why her eye had turned red and why she could talk to spirits and swing a sword. She hated him for not explaining, for leaving her to grope for the truth in the dark, when all he would have needed to do was give her just the smallest, most meager bit of information.

Fucking asshole.

She'd met Hisoka first, out of the group. She'd been looking for work, any sort of work, and had inevitably found herself at Dead Man's Brothel, one of the seediest, most selective gentleman's club in Karakura. Hisoka had been setting up his little stand in the far corner, filled with aphrodisiacs and sterilizers and something he liked to call 'Wake Ups'. He'd taken one look at her and offered her a place to stay and decent wages as a bartender.

Minoru, despite being the owner of the brothel, had no say in the matter, though he wouldn't have argued anyway. He'd just smiled a sad little smile when she gave her name and gave her directions to the training room if she ever felt like sparring, because of course he realized what she was. He had a knack for just knowing what sort of potential people had.

She was quick to learn Hisoka's sign language, and ended up spending the most time with him, helping him mix his 'medicines' and tending his sizable gardens.

He was the one who bought her first computer, sparking her greatest obsession.

He'd bought it for her as an engagement present.

-I want you to be happy- he'd signed as she cried over the piece of tech and the diamond ring. -And I think you'd be happy with me-

"You're an asshole, Hi-chan," she'd told him, wiping at her mismatched eyes. "You're lucky I love you, regardless."

-I know- he replied. -That's why I bought the computer. In case my luck ran out-

She'd punched him in the face for that, but she'd kissed his black eye better later, so he didn't really mind, especially since, three months later, he got to see her in a white dress and carrying- God forbid- daisies.

He didn't dare mention it, though, lest he get a split lip for the wedding photo.


	7. Joy and Lilit

Joy and Lilit

The twins were born out of wedlock. Their mother, Kuchiki Mari, was, to put it lightly, a bit of a whore. Her husband didn't particularly care, as he had his own array of lovers, but still. It should be pointed out.

Joy, personally, was under the impression that their real father was Aizen-taichou, but she'd never been stupid enough to bring it up.

Kuchiki Mamoru was completely aware of his daughters' true parentage, but he had no heir, and the girls were well-versed in the ways of nobility, and were good choices to take up his mantle when he passed.

Then, of course, Byakuya had been born.

The twins had just turned sixty-three, and were quite comfortable in their positions as powerful, respected heiresses. Lilit was more than pleased to know her mother had given birth to a boy- that meant potentially less work for her- and Joy, despite her prickly, cold manner, had fallen in love with the chubby, smiling baby almost immediately.

Two years of happiness passed before the girls were called to their father's study for that inevitable meeting.

"I believe it would be best if you left the Seireitei for a while," Mamoru had told them in that mild-mannered way of his. "Byakuya is to be the next head of the Kuchiki House, as I'm certain you've realized already, and I want a visible sign of his placement as Kuchiki heir."

"Of course, Father. We understand." Lilit smiled warmly. "When should we come back?"

"Not until my death. I want Byakuya in place as a Lord before your return."

Joy felt her stomach drop.

"You... You are casting us out?"

Mamoru sighed. "It is what the elders want. I tried my best, but..."

"You didn't try at all. I can see it in your eyes!" Joy rose from her seat, red eyes blazing and lips pulled tight. "You lily-livered scum! We've put everything we have into this family, and you mean to throw us away?"

"You will know your place." Mamoru's reiatsu crashed down on the pair, and Joy collapsed back into her seat beside Lilit.

"You will leave, and you will not return until your half-brother has taken his place as Lord of Kuchiki house. You will have your dowries, and nothing more. You will accept your places in this world."

"Yes- yes, Kuchiki-sama," Lilit gasped, tears running freely down her face. "We'll be gone by tonight."

The reiatsu disappears, and without another word, Lilit pulls her frozen sister from her seat and out into the hallway.

"We'll ruin them," Joy muttered madly, clutching at her sister's shoulders as she was led into their rooms. "We'll ruin them, take Bya-bo and ruin them all."

Lilit shushed her, pulling her sister's light blonde hair from its tight bun. "We'll leave Bya-bo where he belongs," she said gently. "We'll leave, and when we come back, we'll prove ourselves greater than any of those bigots, I promise."

Joy cried. She cried until she had not tears left, and then she became cold.

"I think we should pack," she said abruptly, fingering a small golden key that hung around her neck. "A few kimono, perhaps, our dowries..." She looked down at her sister, who still sat on the bed, and smirked.

"How much do you think we're worth?"

Lilit's mouth stretched into a wide, devilish grin.

Katsu met them completely by accident, during a hunting trip with his pet hyenas. They'd been living in a cave just outside of Karakura, guarding strongboxes of gold and silver like dragons.

Naturally, he introduced them to Minoru, who offered them rooms and wages in exchange for their swords and their... Services, in the brothel.

And, Joy had to admit, being a dominatrix was fun, especially when they gave tips.

Still, she couldn't wait to get back home. She had a few things she wanted straightened out.

A/N: And there's the last of it! I hope everyone has a good Christmas, even if you're not into it!


	8. Suzu and Tsukiko

Suzu and Tsukiko

Because I just wanted to finish my set of favorite OCs, and like to spoil my readers, here's the final introduction (for now) of new characters for Children. Enjoy!

Suzu was born with absolutely no reiatsu. None. At all.

This was a disappointment, a failure, in fact, and the only reason she wasn't tossed out into the street the moment this was realized was because Yoruichi refused her blood to be treated so cruelly. As long as Yoruichi was in command, Suzu was safe.

She was seven when Yoruichi ran away, and within two days she'd been shoved into a gigai and committed to an Asylum for Wayward Girls in the World of the Living, an English Institution to guarantee that no shinigami would accidentally come across her ever again.

This is where she met Tsukiko.

Yamamoto Tsukiko, known as Nancy Summers at the time, was the great-granddaughter to the soutaicho, and the daughter of Hecate, the goddess of witchcraft, ghosts, and magic. She'd been an inmate in the Asylum for longer than anyone could remember, and had taken an immediate liking to the small, shaking girl with the cat eyes and purple hair.

No one knew why Tsukiko had been committed, or why she'd never tried to break out, but everyone knew she was mad. You couldn't help but be, after so many years of abuse, and she's been there for linger than most of the doctors.

As Tsukiko, she'd comfort her new cellmate, soothing away her pain with words of comfort and soft touches.

"One day, the scars won't matter," she'd whisper as Suzu cried into her chest. "We will be happy, no matter how bad things seem now."

As Nancy, she gave information, stories of masters of fire and earth, of women who could speak to water or hear the future on the wind.

"All it takes is concentration," she'd say, rocking back and forth with the energy only a killer can have. "Concentration and will. Command them like soldiers, like a queen, and they'll do as you say."

Suzu managed it by accident, the first time. The gaslight had had burned down to only a small ember, and Suzu, knowing that with darkness came cold, accidentally made it explode.

She started practicing after that, learning to make the small flame glow and shrink and dance to her will. She practiced on other things, too, quickly mastering how to heat water with a thought and soften the stones under the blanket that served as her bed. Listening to the wind ws harder, but she soon mastered that, as well.

"We're gonna get out of here, Tsukiko," she whispered one evening in their mother tongue- they were forbidden to speak it, but this was too important to be overheard. "I'm going to set this whole place on fire, and we're going to go home."

Tsukiko's golden eyes met hers, and she smiled a small, ladylike smile.

"I knew you could do it, dear."

The fire was beautiful, lapping up the blood of the thirty or so doctors and nurses who had tortured the girls for so long. The pair of golden eyed girls- one pale as moonlight, the other dark-skinned and violet-haired- watched from across the street, barefoot and impassive, as it inevitably collapses, despite the firefighters that come to stop the blaze. A newspaper page is blown to land neatly at Suzu's feet, and she picks it up to read the date.

She'd been locked away for sixteen years.

A/N: The Asylum for Wayward Girls is a varation of Emilie Autumn's 'Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls'. Their 'voices', musically, are songs from Emilie's 'Opheliac' and 'Fight Like A Girl' albums.


	9. Minoru and Yuzu In Love

Minoru and Yuzu In Love

So, I thought I'd talk about a few romantic relationships involving the kids, because I'm running out of ideas!

I'm down for requests, if anyone's interested in knowing something particular about anybody. I love these guys enough to give detail.

Enjoy!

-ADA-

Yeah, Minoru is completely aware of how creepy it is, but he can't help it. Yuzu is the most amazing person he's ever met.

And anyway, he's already promised Ichigo he wouldn't touch her until she was sixteen. Ichigo, who is the best future brother-in-law in the world, gave them his blessing in exchange for best man at the wedding- which he would have gotten anyway.

Usagi's claimed the role of maid of honor, but that's a different story altogether.

They've already got it all planned out. They'll get the proper wedding when she's eighteen- they don't want to ask Isshin for anything- and they'll have a nice big wedding, where Yuzu will wear a fluffy white dress and he'll dust off that old military uniform from his old WW2 days. They'll get married in a Western-style church with big stain glass windows and all their friends sitting in the pews- Minoru's fellow protestors and Yuzu's classmates, all dressed in bright colors and looking shocked at the match. They'll have steak and sushi and dance to Dean Martin's Sway and cut a cake shaped like a strawberry because it'll be the only day they'll be able to needle Ichigo with that without getting punched in the face.

But until then, they'll settle for wearing matching white gold wedding bands and dinner dates- which is pretty awesome in and of itself, in Minoru's opinion.

"Mino, are you okay?"

The sweet voice, tempered with a practicality that Isshin has never heard, jerks Minoru out of his reverie, and he blinks in confusion.

"What- Nothing, just thinking."

"You've been watching me eat for the last twenty minutes with this little smile on your face," she tells him. She smirks. "Were you thinking about me?"

"Of course," he replies, smiling widely. "I was thinking about our wedding, actually."

"Really?" She scoots her chair closer to him, leaning against his bare shoulder and smiling. "What in particular?"

"Just our plans... Maybe a bit about what happens after."

Yuzu grins. "I want lots of little children to freak your father out when we visit him in prison."

Minoru snorts.

"At least ten, then?" He asks dryly.

"No less than twelve," Yuzu corrects. "At least four of both genders."

"That's a tall order. Think we'll be able to handle that?"

"Please. You handled me, Onii-chan and Usagi all at once, and we're worse than twenty kids. We'll be fine."

"And I suppose we'll end up naming each one after our favorite Les Miserables characters?"

"Naturally." Yuzu smiles and plants a kiss on Minoru's cheek.

"Love you, Minoru."

Minoru smiles. "Love you, too."

"Sorry to be the cockblocking big brother, but we're opening on twenty minutes, and neither of you are dressed." Ichigo says this dressed in very, very tight black leather pants and combat boots, with black eye make-up and his messy orange hair pulled into a short ponytail.

Yuzu jumps out of her seat immediately, eyes comically wide.

"What? Shit! I'm the first act!" And she's running, stripping before she even gets to her room, leaving behind a staring fiancé and brother.

"You're probably the luckiest man in the world, as weird as it is for me to say so," Ichigo says after a beat. "There aren't many girls so willing to show off their tits to the general male population."

"They're mine once we're married," Minoru says firmly, and Ichigo grins.

"Until you have those twelve kids," he says with a wink. "Well, I'm off to primp. I suggest changing out of the American flag pants- the muscle shirt's too much as it is. See ya."

Minoru stares after the orangette he'd practically raised for a long moment, before chuckling to himself.

He's going to be an awesome dad.


	10. Tadao and Ryuuken In Love

Tadao and Ryuuken In Love

Another chapter, because I like to write in bulk!

-ADA-

Techinically, they met before Ichigo forced them into each other's lives, but Ryuuken had been very young, and Tadao had been very arrogant.

Basically, the shinigami had told the little white-haired boy that he was worthless as a fighter and might as well become something useful, like a doctor.

Which was what he did.

Still, it was a surprise when Ichigo, for once free of any cuts and bruises, was brought to his hospital by the very man who changed his life, not looking a day over twenty-three, which was the age he'd given seven year-old Ryuuken over thirty years ago.

Of course, he'd been recognized immediately.

"It's nice to see my advice taken," Tadao had said happily as Ichigo went from clinging to him to clinging to Ryuuken, Yuzu choosing to stand behind the Quincy's leg. "So few really understand the benefits of taking it."

"He can see the future, Ryuuken-san!" Ichigo teold the man excitedly, squirming in his grasp. "He says I'm gonna be strong when I grow up!"

"Of course you will," Ryuuken replied in that flat tone of his. "You're strong now."

Tadao smiled. "Well, I've done my duty. I'll be off." He offered a hand, which Ichigo shook.

"Visit us anytime," he said. "Someone's always around."

Ichigo nodded. "Can I bring Ryuuken-san with me?"

Tadao glanced at Ryuuken, who didn't meet his eye.

"Of course you can," he replied. "The more the merrier." He ruffled Yuzu's hair. "Goodbye, Yuzu-chan."

"By, Tadao-san."

And with a final smile, the goggled man turned and walked out of the hospital, whistling a cheery tune and acting like he'd just walked out of a fucking Disney movie.

Despite himself, Ryuuken wanted to fuck him already.

-ADA-

Within six months, that fantasy became a reality. Because Ryuuken could never really deny Ichigo anything, he ended up taking the boy nearly every day to that brothel, which meant that, while the boy 'played' with wooden swords and senbon, Ryuuken was talking to the odd shinigami that had taken up residence in the little basement in the Karakura slums.

Inevitably, he got used to them. Sometimes he even joined in on Ichigo's games with the others- but that was rare. Usually, he spent his time observing, monitoring Ichigo's growth and intelligence with a sharp eye and a closed mouth.

"He's going to be a very good actor," Tadao told him one day. Ichigo was working on his English, reading Shakespeare slowly and clearly to Yuzu and Usagi, who were cuddled up on either side of him. "He's got a silver tongue."

"Do you mean the fact that we all hang on every word that comes out of his mouth?" Ryuuken asked dryly. "Then yes, I agree."

Tadao smiled. "He's going to end up a liar," he told the Quincy. "He's going to pretend he's simple, stupid- just so he can stay alive." He sighed. "I warned him to make it seem as though he doesn't understand shinigami when they find him- because they will, eventually."

"Isshin is... Afraid of the possibility," Ryuuken admitted with a slow nod.

"Depending on the series of events that take place, they may find him as young as thirteen," Tadao said somberly. "And he will forge bonds, save them all. And then, if he does not have his every ally by his side, they will try to dethrone their rightful prince."

"..." Ryuuken kept his mouth shut, uncertain.

"Don't look so worried. Ichigo's a strong sort. He'll survive."

"I'm not worried," the Quincy denied, but even as the words came out, he knew Tadao knew it was a lie.

The blind man smiled. "Ichigo needs father figures in his life, and you're an important one- that means you're allowed to worry."

Ryuuken sighed. "Now he has you, and Aizen-san and Kuchiki-san," he pointed out. "He has brothers and sisters, an aunt, grandparents- he doesn't need anymore."

"But he likes having such a big family," his companion pointed out. "He likes you. So do the rest of us, for that matter- even Tsukiko says you're 'tolerable'." Ryuuken snorted at that- she was a pretentious bitch if he ever knew one- but Tadao wasn't finished.

"I... I would like if you stuck around, too, if you don't mind."

Ryuuken blinked. "Was that a pick-up line?"

Tadao flushed, which was a nice look for such a blank face.

"Don't tease me. I haven't been on a date- well, ever, really. I didn't have time before."

"And you do now?"

Tadao hummed. "Well, we have a bit of downtime for the next few years- at least three, if I'm correct- and I'd like to do something. Like you."

Ryuuken flushed. "I... I..."

"Come on. I'm a good lay, probably. I wouldn't know, seeing as I've never fucked myself..."

"I... Okay. Okay. Fine." Ryuuken took a deep breath. "I suppose it's pointless to say I didn't think about it?"

"You suppose correctly. I see all." Tadao smiled. "So. Wanna go see what my bedroom looks like?"

Ryuuken glanced at Ichigo, who still seemed entranced by his reading, and offered a small smirk to the shinigami.

"I think... I would."

And really, that was that.


	11. Katsu and Lilit In Love

Katsu and Lilit In Love

Their meeting wasn't particularly eventful. Katsu, a new resident in the brothel, just sits down across from her at the dinner on his first night there. It's love at first sight, a Marius-meets-Cosette kind of deal. He thinks her chunky glasses and her crimped brown hair are adorable, and she digs his lazy speech and shaggy, beaded mane of black hair.

It's sickeningly cute. Tadao calls it young love, but then, everyone under six hundred is considered 'young' to him.

They get married when Ichigo's fourteen. Unlike Ayame and Hisoka's wedding, which involved Ichigo rocking a pair of Ironman pajama pants, they have a big, classy wedding, with rose petals and white dresses and horse-drawn carriages and an eight-tiered cake with hyenas patterned on the sides in black. His pack loved that, and ended up eating half of the damn thing.

Yeah, Lilit and Katsu are the boring, meant-to-be couple, perfect for each other in every way, have no conflict to make their story interesting. If I went into detail, most people would probably hate them because, emotionally, they'd come off as shallow, even if, separately, they have oodles of personality.

That's what should probably be expanded on.

Lilit likes Chappy, bird-watching, and world domination. Katsu enjoys his hyenas, shotguns, and darts. They share the favorite colors of canary yellow and chartreuse. She likes vodka, he prefers wine- red, specifically. They both hate beer, and tequila for either one equals dancing on the bar, even though Katsu has horrible stage fright and Lilit has the grace of a one-legged duck when she's drunk.

Of course, no one has ever dared tell her that- not even Joy, who usually takes great pleasure in teasing her usually easy-going sister. The slightly younger twin is a snake in the grass, poised to strike when no one expects. Like her assumed father, she became quite aware of the fact that if you didn't look intimidating or acted particularly suspicious, no one would be the wiser.

Katsu's a nice, polar opposite. What he thinks, he says, and what he feels... Well, his fist might find a face, his lips might find lips. He's a simple sort of guy.

But, despite all their differences, they're cute, and happy, and very much in love.


	12. Byakuya and Rukia Learn About the Family

Byakuya and Rukia Learn About the Family (But Mostly Byakuya)

So, the first people to ever meet Ichigo's extended family are the Kuchikis. He figures since, hey, the siblings were practically his family already, they may as well meet everyone else.

There's also the fact that Ichigo grew up playing manhunt with Byakuya's older sisters, but that's a minor detail compared to the 'please meet my family potential future girlfriend and girlfriend's brother' thing, though he's not quite so sure they're relationship is going to end up that way, since he's found out recently he has a slight penchant for dick.

Surprisingly, Byakuya takes the sisters thing pretty well, and Rukia, once she and Lilit realize they share a love of Chappy, are joined at the hip, much to Joy's dismay.

Ichigo introduces everyone as they come and go through the kitchen, shocking Byakuya with names like 'Aizen' and 'Hirako'.

This is when he meets her. Tsukiko.

She's the last to be introduced, and certainly the most eye-catching, even with Minoru's multiple tongue piercings and Ayame's mismatched eyes. Pure white, golden eyes, dressed in a white gown fitting of a Jane Austen novel... She's absolutely gorgeous in every way.

When he introduces himself, she just gives him a cold, calculating glare and sniffs.

"Another Kuchiki, Ichigo?" She asks disdainfully. "I thought I told you they were below your station."

Byakuya blinks, and Ichigo clears his throat awkwardly.

"Ah, Byakuya, this charming lady is Yamamoto Tsukiko, Yama-jii's grandaughter by his second wife. She's a bit... Selective."

"I prefer the term 'well-bred'," she tells him, nose in the air. "And honestly, Ichigo, princes shouldn't be fraternizing he way you do with the common people. It's just not done."

"I'll fraternize with whoever I like, if it's all the same to you, baa-chan," he says mildly. "And the girl over with Lilit is his adoptive sister Rukia, by the way. You said you wanted to meet her?"

Tsukiko brightens.

"Is that her? My, I think I was right. She does look and awful lot like a member of the Fukazawa house. Girl, come here," she orders imperiously, making both of the Chappy fans look up. "Not you, Lilit, the other one. Rukia, was it? Come here."

Rukia glances at her brother and obeys, pulling out all the best of her nobility that she'd learned over years of being a Kuchiki.

"Yes, you're quite pretty, indeed," Tsukiko murmurs. "Adopted, were you?"

Rukia, well-trained at this point to understand the obvious superiority of the other woman, nods meekly.

"Nii-sama adopted me after my elder sister died," she says in her best speech. "It was a last request."

"I see." Tsukiko's eyes soften slightly. "Well, my dear, it seems he didn't realize what a gem you really are. No doubt a blood right will be necessary, but I'm almost completely certain of your noble blood. The Fukazawa clan has nearly died out, you know, and they certainly are in need of a proper heiress."

As Rukia stutters out a reply, wide-eyed and utterly bewildered, Ichigo takes a moment to look at Byakuya.

The man's eyes are wide in surprise and maybe a little bit of admiration, his mouth is slightly open, and his gaze is locked on Tsukiko.

Ichigo smirks. He may not be Tadao, but he can tell a sucker when he sees one.

He can't wait to see how it all plays out.

15

As it turns out, Byakuya isn't very good at dealing with people who are of equal or higher standing of him, and eventually admits defeat and comes to Ichigo.

"Don't look so down, she's like this with everyone at first," he tells the uncomfortable lord sitting with him at his kitchen table. "The trick is to get Nancy to like you, first."

Byakuya blinks.

"Who's Nancy?"

"Nancy's her... Other, personality. She developed it when she was locked up in an asylum in England." Ichigo sips his tea absently. "Nancy's easy. She likes power, and powerful people. Ask Tsukiko to spar, and if you win, you'll manage to dazzle Nancy enough to maybe get Tsukiko to give you a chance. You lose though..." Ichigo trails off with a shrug. "You'll probably win, though. Nancy isn't strong enough to beat a captain level, I think, especially not one like you."

Byakuya nods slowly. "I... I think I understand," he says at last, and Ichigo smiles.

"I thought you would. Be warned, though- she was in eleventh division, before she disappeared, under the second Kenpachi. She'll be out for blood, if she fights you."

That's not a comforting thought. At all.


	13. Urahara and Yoruichi Learn About the Fam

Urahara and Yoruichi Learn About the Family

"Happy birthday, Yoruichi-san, Urahara-san!"

The pair look up in surprise as Ichigo waltzes into the Shouten, carrying a large chocolate caked with a bag slung over one shoulder.

"I'd like to say I baked this myself, but my sister won't give me her special recipe, so it's courtesy of Yuzu," he tells them, setting the cake on the table before them.

"Hu- how did you know, Kurosaki-san?" Urahara asks, eyes wide with surprise.

Ichigo grins, an expression neither were used to seeing.

"Let's just say mutual friends told me," he says, digging through his bag. "I bring... Sake. And whisky, as well, if you prefer that." He sets two bottles on the table before the adults.

Yoruichi stares a moment longer before breaking out into a grin and launching herself at the teen.

"You're such a good boy!" She tells him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Ichigo."

"No big deal- if I'd known before, I'd have come with everything last year." Ichigo pauses a moment. "Can you get off me so I can give you my presents?"

The pair trade looks.

"Presents?" They chorus, and Ichigo shrugs.

"Well, they're not really presents... Information, mostly, and a couple of pictures and movies and things." He digs into his bag again and pulls out two photos, sliding one out before each adult.

"There you go."

The picture before Yoruichi is of a petite, scarred girl with a striking resemblance to Yoruichi, from the purple hair to the yellow eyes to the dark skin. She's smiling in the picture, dressed from head to toe in a magenta sweatsuit. Her feet are bare, and her hands glow with lightning. She's smiling brightly at the camera, the expression pulling oddly at the white scars on her face.

Urahara's picture is of another girl. She's got his hair, and a single, piercing green eye filled with exasperation and confusion. She's frowning at the camera, leaning forward over a bar with a whisky in hand. A wedding band glitters on her left hand, but other than that, he jewelry only consists of wooden bangles on her wrists and bits of string.

"How did-" Urahara stops, uncertain.

"I've known them since I was nine, as my adoptive family," Ichigo tells the pair. "They sing and dance at a brothel I hang around- well, Suzu's one of the actual girls, and... Ayame... Moved behind the bar after she got married, but they still sing on Fridays. They're both really good."

"Why is she scarred?" Yoruichi whispers, and the teen smiles sadly.

"Your family threw her in an asylum when you left," he tells her carefully. "She was... Tortured."

The woman swallows hard, looking back at the photo.

"She's okay, now," he feels the need to add. "She and her best friend escaped and burned the whole place to the ground. She's happy."

"What about Ayame?" Urahara sounds stunned, uncertain, maybe even a bit frightened.

Ichigo pauses.

"Well, Momma- Ayame's not really a... Happy, sort of person," he admits after a moment. "Actually, she's a bit like a meaner Hitsugaya. She's a total computer nerd, though, and pretty good in a fist fight."

"And her... She's married, right?"

Ichigo nods. "To a guy by the name of Kyoraku Hisoka- a poisons specialist."

"Kyoraku?"

Ichigo nods. "Yup. They got married... I was just about to turn eleven." He smiles. "I was the ring bearer at the wedding- it was pajama themed."

"Could we meet them?" Yoruichi asks, and there's something a little bit desperate in her eyes.

Ichigo's smile fades.

"Suzu, of course," he says after a moment. "She misses you like crazy. Ayame... Might have to wait a bit."

"She's angry at me," Urahara whispers.

"She gets that you're stupid," Ichigo says plainly. "But I don't think that'll stop her from beating your face in. She's rough around the edges, and doesn't suffer fools lightly. And boy, does she think you're a big one."

"Guess she's pretty clever," Yoruichi murmurs, smiling slightly.

"Don't joke, Yoruichi-san, she absolutely hates you." Ichigo's eyes find hers. "She knows Urahara-san left to follow you."

Yoruichi frowns. "No he didn't. He left because it wasn't safe for him to stay behind..." She trails off when Urahara shifts uncomfortably. "Kisuke?"

"You said..." Kisuke looks down at his hands. "You said you needed me, and I knew you thought it was stupid to stay with Hoshi and Ayame..."

Yoruichi's face contorts.

"Oh, shit, Kisuke..."

"Exactly." The two look up at the sound of Ichigo's voice- they'd forgotten his presence.

"I have a bit of their music on... These CDs," Ichigo tells them, handing over four burned discs. "Two of those are DVDs, by the way."

Urahara runs his fingers over the photo of Ayame, something melancholy in his eyes.

"Perhaps I should stay away," he says. "I mean, she seems fine without me–"

"Now, don't you start," Ichigo says sternly. "She gave me permission to tell you. She does want you in her life, she just... Has to get used to the idea first." He smiles encouragingly. "She'll probably show up in a few days- Suzu too, if Yoruichi-san sticks around. After the initial punch, she'll probably be her usual, ornery self- but you've dealt with Hiyori, so that shouldn't be so bad." He stands.

"Well, that's what I came to do," he says. "I have work tomorrow, so I can't stay. Happy birthday, both of you. See you Monday."

And he's gone, leaving food for thought and liquor to help the process.

Urahara's never been more grateful.

15

He waits until Yoruichi is asleep- truly asleep, and not just pretending- to watch the DVD Ichigo's given him. Hands shaking, he pops the disc into the computer, turns the volume down low, and and lets the screen flicker to life.

He was expecting to see footage of a stage, like Suzu's video. Instead, what he finds is something similar to a skype. It's just Ayame- God she's so grown up- sitting in front of a camera, looking a cross between annoyed and tired. There's a cigarette in one hand and some kind of amber drink in the other.

"Hi," she greets him through the camera, and her voice is rough and low, like he remembers her mother's was. "Ichigo was planning on giving you film of me, but I've decided, drunk and still awake at six in the morning, that I'm going to swap his video out with one of mine, because he's shit at explaining things, and, well, I know you're probably busy looking pathetic and melancholy, because that's what you do best."

He lets out a harsh chuckle as she sips from her glass and leans forward, and she's just a little tipsy, he can tell.

"I hate you," she says plainly, sobering him instantly. "You left me mom to deal with all this shinigami bullshit on our own. You didn't even leave a note- just upped and left. I blame you for mom's death- she'd always had a weak heart, and your leaving sent her to an early grave, and I blame you for some of the... Unsavory things I've done to control my powers. But I suppose it could be worse. I'm not in Ichigo's situation, or Suzu's, or Usagi's, so I guess I'm pretty fortunate."

Another drink, a drag of her cigarette, and she continues.

"Ichigo's probably already told you I dislike you. He's probably downplaying my actual loathing, but because he's as good as a son to me and for some inexplicable reason likes you even though all you've ever done is lie to him, I'm going to be nice to you- meaning I'll try very hard not to rip your still beating heart from your chest. I hope you appreciate that- though I bet you're wondering what I mean when I say I think of Ichigo as a son." Her smile is sharp. "I'm going to regale you with why he's involved with any of us, and explain exactly why he's so much smarter than you."

Urahara frowns as his daughter leans back in her chair, propping her elbow in her hand and bringing her cigarette to her lips once more.

"Ichigo probably hasn't told you this, but there are a lot of us in his family," Ayame starts. "We've got Kuchikis, a Shiba, and Unohana, a Hirako, an Ukitake, a Yamamoto- we've even got an Aizen. We've all known Ichigo and Yuzu since he was nine and she was six. Usagi- Hirako Usagi, the bastard son of Hirako Shinji- found him and Yuzu in an alleyway near our place. Ichigo was beat up pretty bad, with shattered ribs and blood just... Everywhere." She shivers. "I remember when Usagi brought him in. No kid should look the way he did. It took three days for Ryuu to heal him- that's our resident healer, Kuchiki Ryuu- and another day for recuperation, during which he told us his name and his situation. I have to admit, I didn't realize Minoru- the Aizen- could get pissed off until Ichigo explained the fact that his dad, since his mother's death, had been 'training' him by kicking the absolute shit out of him whenever possible."

She reaches forward to grab her drink before continuing.

"Ichigo says his dad doesn't remember- that it only happened when that bastard got blackout drunk. But what sort of father does that to a kid? What sort of dad uses a master's fighting style against a nine year-old? Or his six year-old daughters, which Yuzu says he tried a few times. Ryuu was about ready to rip Isshin's throat out for the amount of damage he had to fix.

"So, after Ichigo got better, Hisoka- my husband, a Kyoraku- gave him a charm that would help against the damage, and Tadao took him and Yuzu to Ryuuken's hospital, where Ichigo had been heading. Ryuuken's always been around to take care of Ichigo, though they've never explained why. It's just a thing." She stubs out her cigarette.

"Ichigo showed up again a few days later. We started teaching him- playing, really. Usagi, who's only got two years on Ichigo, became his best friend, and together they learned everything they could. Tadao became their weapons master, Katsu -the Shiba- taught them hand-to-hand, my husband and Ryuu taught them the basics in healing and kido- Ichigo took a particular shine to mixing poisons, thanks to Hisoka, but he won't admit to it- and Minoru, of course, taught them stealth, torture, and interrogation. All of which Yuzu has excelled at." She pauses, the glass at her lips. "She's dating Minoru, by the way. And Ichigo's okay with it." She drains her glass and sets it on the table.

"So, long story short, Ichigo, because of his outstanding loyalty to all of his families- us, the Kurosakis, and you Soul Society shinigami, wants us all to be friends, and, as much as I dislike you, that boy's been through enough, and I'm not gonna refuse him." Ayame sighs, sitting forward. "So, we're gonna meet again. I'm going to punch you in the face, and I'm going to be prickly and rude, and you're going to take it, because at least I'm not skinning you alive." She stands, and her head disappears from the frame as she goes to play with the camera.

"And because I am drunk at six in the morning, I am going to torture Ichigo just a little bit and give you blackmail material. Use it well."

The shot cuts to something else, something so uncalled for that Urahara can't help the laughter that bubbles from his lips. It's hysterical, yeah, but it's laughter nonetheless, and once the video's over, he stores it away for future use.

15

The punch stings. His nose might even be broken. But he doesn't care. Not really.

Ayame's beautiful in person. Delicate and small, like her mother, with his wretched hair and a secretive look in her single, bright green eye. She's dressed like a normal woman in her mid-twenties- jeans, boots, a t-shirt with the word 'ASS-KICKER' emblazoned across the front. Wiry arms are folded just at the base of her sternum, pulling the shirt to reveal just a sliver of what Urahara assumes is a tattoo.

He notices this all in the time it takes for him to find a tissue for his nose.

She looks unimpressed- it reminds him a bit of Hiyori's face at rest, actually, but he doesn't think anyone would really appreciate that- including Hiyori.

He winces as he tries to straighten out his nose- it's the worst job, he thinks, out of anything he's had to do to himself ever- when cool, gentle fingers push his hands away.

"Pussy," Ayame says flatly, cracking it back into place with a swift, vicious jerk that makes him cry out. "Take it like a man."

"Just as gentle as your mother," he says, wiping at his watering eyes.

"I learned from the best," she tells him. "I remember her straightening out your fingers when she crushed them in the door."

Urahara winces at the memory, flexing his fingers absently. "Yeah, me too." The fingers of his left hand were still slightly slanted in different directions, actually- at least he could still use them.

She catches the movement, sees the damage, and asks,

"Did you two even like each other? I mean, mom was devastated when you left, but all I remember from before is fighting."

Urahara shifts, uncomfortable.

"I kept my secrets, and she knew I had plenty," he admits. "She didn't like it. She mistrusted Yoruichi-san and the others. I remember... She used to tell me to leave and never return. With Yoruichi-san's offer to leave with her, coupled with the fact that I knew I'd have to leave eventually, what with the fact that I didn't age..." He shrugs, looking down. "I'm smart... Not particularly wise, though."

"..." Ayame sighs heavily.

"You're a pathetic sack of shit, you know that?" She says plainly. "God knows why Ichigo likes you."

Urahara laughs humorlessly. "I ask myself the same question pretty often," he says. "I think it's because I'm handsome. He doesn't appreciate my wit."

"I can't say no to a pretty face, tis true," Ichigo sing-songs as he waltzes into the shop, school bag over his shoulder, eyes on Ayame. "I wasn't expecting you for another week, at least."

She bows mockingly.

"I couldn't make the young prince wait," she says, voice sickeningly sweet.

Ichigo grins and pulls her into a tight hug.

"Hey, Momma," he greets, and she presses a kiss to his cheek before shoving him away roughly.

"Come to make sure I don't cook him into a meat pie, then?" She demands. "You have no faith."

"You only did that once, and Tsumi said it tasted delicious," he replies without missing a beat. "No, I'm here to do homework. Urahara-san's quiet enough that I can actually get stuff done."

Ayame snorts. "Where's Suzu? I thought you were reuniting her with Yoruichi-san."

"I did. Suzu's currently showing off her mad skills back home. And Yoruichi-san has gotten ahold of my firewater."

Ayame pales.

"She can stomach it?"

"She's trying," Ichigo corrects. "I'll be surprised if Ryuu doesn't end up having to heal up her throat tomorrow morning."

The blonde shakes her head.

"I guess that means I should head back," she says. "Bye, Ichigo. Kisuke-san." And she slips out the door.

Ichigo looks at Urahara.

"Kisuke-san, huh?" He inquires gently, and Urahara sighs.

"It's probably for the best," he admits. "Civility is the best I can hope for, after what I did to her."

"Yeah, it was pretty shitty, what you did," Ichigo says bluntly. "But hey, at least none of her scars are from you."

The blonde jerks and looks up into sympathetic brown eyes.

Ichigo knows he knows.

"Are there more?" He asks abruptly. "Besides you?"

Ichigo shrugs. "Minoru scarred his own face so people would differentiate between himself and his father. Usagi was tortured in an orphanage. Suzu and Tsukiko were abused in an asylum. Joy and Lilit were thrown out of their family when a male heir was born." He sighs, rubbing the back of s neck awkwardly. "Most of us have horror stories. You get over it." He offers the blonde a crooked smile.

"It'll get better with Momma," the orangette promises. "She's mean to everyone, and first. Usually she gets over it."

Urahara lets out a rough laugh.

"That sounds promising." He pushes hs hat back slightly, eyes searching. "You actually refer to her as your mother."

"Yup." Ichigo grins. "Me and Usagi started as a joke, and it just... Stuck, I guess. It's true, anyway. She basically adopted us, with the way she mothers."

"... Do you have a father-figure similar to Ayame, then?"

"... Well, Usagi would say it's Minoru, but I say it's Tadao because Minoru is gonna be my brother-in-law and that's sort of creepy to think about."

Urahara winces.

"Yeah, that is a bit... Squicky," he admits, startling a laugh out of Ichigo.

"You just used the word 'squicky' in casual conversation," the teen says breathlessly between peals of laughter. "Jesus Christ, Yuzu doesn't use the word 'squicky'..."

"I like the word," Urahara says defensively. "It works particularly well when used in conjunction with any of Mayuri's experiments."

Ichigo just keeps laughing, leaning against the doorframe as he struggles for breath.

"... How come you're laughing so much?"

Ichigo takes a deep breathing, doing his best to sober.

"I'm happy," he says simply, smiling widely. "My family is slowly getting to know each other, after all. All I need to do now is introduce Shinji to Usagi and everyone important will know."

"What do you mean by important?"

"Family," he says with a shrug. "I mean, Kyoraku-san and Unohana-san already know, and everyone else is just a matter of reintroductions."

Urahara shifts. "And, who else knows besides them, Yoruichi-san, and me?"

"Just Byakuya and Rukia- Byakuya's even almost-dating Tsukiko-ba-chan," he adds cheerily. "She's Yama-jii's granddaughter, if you're wondering, and Suzu's best friend."

"And his relationship with your family is...?"

"His half-sisters Joy and Lilit and his three times great-grandfather Ryuu."

"Ah." The blonde glances at his watch. "Stay for dinner? Ururu's making miso soup."

"Sounds good."

Ichigo's smile is blinding, and Urahara wonders vaguely what that feeling in his stomach is as he leads his student into the dining room.


	14. Shinji Learns About the Family

Shinji Learns About the Family

The brothel's smoky and dark, more like a speak-easy than a cat house, but Shinji likes is immediately. It reminds him of his favorite jazz club- one that closed down in the late sixties.

But he's pretty certain Kisuke didn't bring him here to reminisce.

The blonde's dressed differently than usual, in clothes probably picked out by his student- Ichigo's the only person besides himself that has the fashion sense and authority to dress the ash blonde inventor so tastefully, and pinstripes look good on the guy, Shinji has to admit.

Kisuke doesn't seem to like it, by the way he keeps pulling at the collar of his dress shirt as he leads Shinji straight to the bar.

"Evening, Kisuke-san," greets the barmaid, and Shinji does a double-take at the eerily familiar face.

"Hello, Ayame-san," he replies. "A beer for me please- draft- and- Shinji-san?"

"Same." The woman takes a moment to pour their drinks, sets them down, and slips away.

"She looks an awful lot like ya, Kisuke," Shinji remarks, sipping at his beer.

"She would. That's my daughter."

"So that is little Aya-chan," he says. "What's with the formality?"

"She might hurt you if she hears you calling her that," Kisuke warns, turning to look at the stage. "And... We just started talking again. She prefers to keep it formal."

"She's pissed ya left, huh?"

"Exactly."

There's a minute of silence, then Shinji asks,

"So, why'd ya bring me here? I doubt it's just ta catch up."

"Kurosaki-san asked me to bring you here," Kisuke says lightly. "He thought you'd have less of a chance of running if there were people to witness it."

Shinji stiffens.

"Run from what?"

"You'll see. It's not lethal to you, I promise- oh, look, there's Kurosaki-san."

Ichigo's on stage, orange hair slicked back and dressed quite dapper in a pressed black shirt, a purple vest, and creased black pants.

His smile is bright and commercial.

"Good evening, ladies, gentlemen, anyone in between..." His words get laughter and he smirks. "I am your host for tonight, Kurosaki Ichigo. You may call me your lord and master." More laughter.

"Tonight's entertainment consists of my big brother, the fabulous, Hirako Usagi!"

Applause, cheers, whistles, and Shinji's eyes have gone very wide as a long, gawky boy(?) waltzes onto the stage in heels, a miniskirt, and a long-sleeved red shirt. Long golden hair falls in a heavy, sleek curtain down his back and over his shoulders, sharp teeth and thin lips are pulled into a familiar smile, slightly distorted by a scar down the right side of his face, and a black teardrop is stark against the pale skin of his other cheek.

He clicks his tongue as he approaches the camera, making it echo through the bar.

"Hey there," he says, waving a long-nailed hand. "I'm Usagi, 'n' I'm tonight's..." He smirks. "Entertainment."

The music starts (some sort of acoustic, orchestral version of Nine Inch Nails) and he leans forward, gripping the mike with red claws.

"You let me violate you... You let me desecrate you... You let me penetrate you... You let me complicate you..."

Jesus Christ, is he really singing this...? It's a distracted thought, one that Shinji doesn't even notice amidst the shock of his 'that-kid-is-my-kid' that is fogging up his brain.

"Urahara-san, is he okay?"

Shinji's neck snaps to look at Ichigo, who's lazing behind the bar as Ayame bustles around him, shifting effortlessly out of her way before she has time to snap at him.

"How did you- why are you- how am I-"

Ichigo shushes him, eyes sparkling with amusement.

"He's nineteen. My big brother, my best friend..." Ichigo leans forward, propping his chin on his fist. "Minoru- that's Aizen Minoru- adopted him when he was ten. Usagi met me two years later, and promptly decided I needed someone to watch my ass, since I seemed incapable at the tender age of ten."

"He's really... Lanky," Shinji manages, and Ichigo outright laughs.

"Yeah... We figure his mother was a junkie, and it mutated him a little bit. He doesn't mind so much- makes his work easier, he says."

And what kind of work is that, Shinji can't begin to think of. What sort of job does he have that require arms to his knees and long, bandy legs far longer than is natural.

"He's a hitman," Ichigo adds helpfully, and Shinji stares.

"I..." He looks down. "Does he want ta see me?"

He's always figured he had kids, but... He imagined they'd hate him, and would want nothing to do with a man who was never involved in the first place.

But Ichigo's nodding, moving to take a sip from a glass of what looks like water and smells like burnt wood.

"He gave me permission to tell you, and says he doesn't mind meeting you. We figured you ought to be... Aware, at least, of his existence. He's part of my family, you know."

"Ichigo, get out of the way before I spray you with sprite."

Ichigo grins over his shoulder and hops over the bar into the seat next to Shinji.

"Sorry, Momma." He turns back to Shinji. "He's just got this song to finish, and then I go on. Usually, anyway. I'll be introducing you to him during the break, so Momma's taking over my bit and Minoru's getting the bar."

"..." Shinji shifts. "Okay?"

"Don't be nervous, you're doing great," Ichigo says brightly. "You haven't fainted or run away, which means I'm owed at least fifty dollars already."

Urahara snickers, and Shinji scowls.

"Like I'd run from family."

"That's what I like to hear. Now, come on. He's about to finish."

And with that Shinji is pulled from his chair and towards the stage.

15

Usagi kicks off his heels the moment he gets back to his room, collapsing onto his favorite couch with a groan.

He hears the door creak open, then closed.

"Ichi, I hate heels," he whines. "I'm never wearing 'em aggin."

"Of course you will," Ichigo says simply, taking a seat in the dip of the blonde's back. "Because you like showing off your stupid spider legs."

"Neh." He shifts slightly under the smaller teen's weight to take over his shoulder. His eyes widen slightly when he notices Shinji.

"Damn. I do look like ya," he says bluntly, moving to get up only to be impeded by Ichigo.

"Get offa me, Shrimp," he orders, shoving Ichigo off roughly.

Ichigo slaps the bare back of his thigh, making him yelp.

"Don't be so mean, Spiderlegs," he warns playfully. "First impressions and all."

"I think the skirt's given 'im a purty good idea, don't cha think, Ichi?" Usagi stands and offers his father a hand.

"Usagi. Nice ta meet ya, pops."

Shinji takes the hand, staring up in annoyance at his son.

"Ya got at least half a foot on me," he says. "Not fair."

"Mah momma was a stork," Usagi tells him solemnly.

Shinji grimaces. "I hope not. I'm goin' ta have enough trouble explainin' ya to Hiyori, let alone explainin' yer part stork."

The teen smirks.

"We'll keep it between ourselves," he promises. "It looks like Ichi left us for a while. Sake?"

"Why not?"

And that's that for them.

15

Ayame's got the voice of a sassy black woman.

That's a weird thought, even for Kisuke.

She's singing stuff from a movie (Burlesque, he's pretty sure- not that he's ever seen it. Or even knows who Cher is. At all. Why are we talking about this?), strutting around in a corset and thigh-high boots singing about being a good girl and needing a 'guy that takes his time', which he really doesn't want to think about.

"She's good, isn't she?"

The blonde turns slightly to see Minoru smiling at him from over the bar.

"She's got a hell of a voice," he admits. "Just like her mom."

"I wouldn't know," the brunette admits. "I met her when she was twenty-five- a good nine years after her mother kicked it. She came in looking for work, and Hisoka hired her, just like that."

"She told me," Kisuke says with a nod. "She's... Filled me in on what I missed." He rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly. "I'm sorry I've missed so much."

"But you won't miss anymore," Minoru points out kindly. "And she seems to be warming up to you. She didn't even hit you today."

"Today was important," the blonde points out. "Usagi's father was meeting him for the first time."

"So? She could give two shits about Shinji-taicho. As far as she's considered, he's mine."

"... He is."

"I know that. But his father is friends with his brother. They were bound to meet each other eventually- it may as well have been now, to get the awkwardness out of the way before anything big happens."

Kisuke shifts. "And will something big happen?"

Minoru shrugs. "Tadao's hinting at another war... And not this sort of one day, thirty people bullshit that the Winter War was. Something..."

"Big." Urahara finishes.

"Exactly."

Urahara sighs.

"Guess that means I ought to start preparing."


	15. The Family's Call To Arms

The Family's Call To Arms

"Ichigo?"

The teen looks up from his book.

"Daddy?"

The blind man smiles. "Do you have a moment?"

"Of course." He scoots over on his bed, and Tadao takes a seat on the lush, leopard print sheets. He reaches out to draw the teen close, hugging him to his side like he did when Ichigo was young.

Ichigo, of course, doesn't protest the treatment. He just cuddles closer, a teddy bear under all those lies and bluster.

"The big thing's happening soon, right?" He asks. "The war?"

"Yes. Everything begins tomorrow."

Ichigo sighs.

"Any advice?"

"Don't go with the Royal Guard, no matter what they promise you." He feels the teen shift in his grip uncertainly. "It's time for us to be revealed."

Ichigo's brow furrows in confusion. "Royal Guard? Why would they get involved?"

"... It's that big."

Ichigo sighs heavily.

"Well, shit."

15

The Royal Guard's intimidating, but not enough. Ichigo doesn't flinch at their reactions when he refuses their offer to go to the realm of the Soul King- in fact, he nearly laughs at Shinji's look of surprise, reminded exactly why he'd told no one of what Tadao had told him.

"And why not?" Demands the leader- Ichigo can't remember his name.

He tilts his chin, smirking.

"My daddy warned me not to talk to strangers," he declares.

"Isshin?!" The weaver woman demands, and Ichigo snorts.

"As if he'd tell me anything useful," he says scathingly. "No, I don't mean Goat Face. I mean Daddy."

"Ichi, you're confusin' 'em," a voice sing-songs from somewhere behind the captains, and Shinji's eyes widen comically as his son lands gracefully beside his brother.

"I'm not even speaking in riddles, and you say that I'm confusing them? It doesn't say much for the Royal Guard then, does it?"

"Ichigo..." Shinji starts warningly, and a hand comes to rest on his shoulder. He looks back.

"Don't worry, Shinji-san," Minoru tells him cheerfully. "Tadao's got it all figured out."

"Tadao?" The purple-haired woman- Hikifune- looks excited. "He's come home at last."

"Indeed I have, Hikifune-chan." Tadao lands neatly on Ichigo's other side. "I thought, with current events, it was time."

The leader cocks an eyebrow.

"He's your ward?" He asks.

Tadao smiles and nods.

"Naturally," he says. "And, his friends are to be cared for by Ryuu-san... I don't think it's necessary for them to visit your springs, Tenjiro-san."

The lanky man smiles wryly.

"Well, you know best, Tadao-kun," he says wryly. "Why would I argue? Shutara, give back Kurosaki's friends."

The beautiful woman obeys, and the leader sighs.

"I sure hope you're right about this, Tadao-kun," the man says warily.

"Of course I am, Osha-san," he says warmly. "Thank you for your understanding."

The burly man scrutinizes the younger Unohana a moment more, than smiles, reaching out to ruffle his hair.

"It's another game, I see," he says, chuckling. "Very well. Have fun."

He turns back to the others, and by some silent command, they all flit away, out of sight.

Shunsui's the first to speak.

"So, Ichigo, tired of hiding?" He asks pleasantly, and Ichigo smiles.

"Perhaps," he admits. "But Tadao says this is the next big one, and you'll need all the help you can get." He gestures at nothing. "My family's probably going to be the best for it."

"Of course we are," chimes in an irritated voice from Komamura's left. "Shinigami are generally useless."

"Now, Joy, don't be mean," Lilit says reproachfully, landing beside her sister. "They just haven't had the same sort of training as we have."

"We'll have to fix that quick," Ayame says as she and Hisoka land by Shunsui.

"For Yama-chan, if anything," Tsumi says solemnly as Ryuu begins to look over Ichigo's friends.

"And to rid the world of scum like Juha Bach," Tsukiko agrees, fury barely veiled in her birdsong voice.

"The pack's been dying for some fresh meat," Katsu remarks. "But I think Quincy's just a bit too low grade for them."

"If they eat quickly, it might work." Yuzu smiles as one of the hyenas licks at her fingers. "And it's the hunt they want most, after so long eating pre-killed meals."

"I suppose, yeah," the Shiba agrees. "But I have been-"

"Who the hell are these people?" Soi Fon demands. "Why are they here?"

"Chill out, Soi Fon-san," Suzu says, rolling her eyes at the slightly hysterical question. "We're just family. God, why did my sister pick such a hysterical mess as a disciple, I've no idea."

"She's good at her job, of course," Ichigo says. "Now leave her alone. She's just lost someone very important and had the fact that her spies are shit sprung on her at the same time. She needs some space." He smiles kindly at Soi Fon.

"I'll explain as soon as we can have a seat somewhere," he promises. "I have a lot to fill you guys in on, and Ojii-chan and Unohana-san have to get to work."

"Well then, let's head back to the first," Shunsui says, clapping his hands together. "We have much to talk about."

Minoru looks at Ichigo, who nods sharply, and in a moment everyone of his 'family' is moving. Suzu disappears into the shadows, Hisoka goes to help Ryuu and Tsumi with the wounded, Joy and Lilit flit away to go do God knows what with Katsu, and Ichigo is left to be surrounded by Yuzu and her betrothed, his mother and father, his brother, and his aunt.

They let him lead when he strolls up to Shunsui.

"Shall we?" He asks, and the brunette chuckles.

"I have a feeling you're about to confuse a lot of people, Ichigo-kun," he says. "But it might do everyone some good."

15

"Well, if that's all, then I think we're done-"

The door of the meeting room bangs open and a blue flash charges straight at Ichigo.

"Kurosaki, you shit stain-!"

Ichigo gracefully dodges and catches his attacker by the wrist to stop him from careening into Tadao, who's smirking.

"Grimmjow, you brute, don't you have any manners at all?"

The arrancar smiles viciously at the orangette.

"I think Ulquiorra might have mentioned them a couple of times," he admits. "Never really liked him." He straightens, then pulls the teen into a tight hug. "How ya doin', carrot-top?"

Ichigo laughs. "Pretty good- but I forgot to explain you."

"What's there to explain? You came back and found me to keep your promise after you got your powers back. I found out you aren't a total dick. End of story."

"Kurosaki-kun...?"

Ichigo looks back to the door to see Urahara standing with an adult Nel, Chado, and Inoue, the latter two looking rather uncertain.

"I explained as best I could," Urahara says apologetically. "I knew your hands would be tied."

"Of course. Thanks."

"Itsygo's been quite busy," Nel says cheerfully, moving in a way that makes all male eyes follow her as she strolls over to her favorite person. "Nel hopes he knows what he's doing."

Ichigo smiles.

"I usually do," he promises. "And if I don't, someone else most certainly does."

Ichigo looks back to Shunsui.

"I suggest you give orders for everyone to get a good night's rest," he says. "Because tomorrow we're going to be starting something huge."

"And what's that?" Kensei inquires, for once looking less annoyed and more... Uncertain.

"Tomorrow we start training, of course." Ichigo gestures at the assembly. "You guys are good, but we need to get you up to a new standard- not to mention everyone from seventh seat up. It's gonna take a lot of work to do if we're gonna crush the important Quincy bastards- oh, and I'll be bringing in an expert or two, so, you're been warned."

He leans back against his mother and opens his arms in a gesture of helplessness lessened by his gleeful smirk.

"We're going to war."


End file.
